The quest for the unknown

That feeling of not knowing your purpose of life can be intimidating. But let's face it. Most of us don't really know what we're "meant" to do. What's our purpose? It definitely isn't about surviving. Not even about saving for a future we can never predict. What exactly are we here for? 

If you believe in spiritualism, the spiritual being and the likes, you'll know that you've taken birth here to learn your life lessons and fare well in your "exams". Loving people around you and helping each other and being selfless are mostly forgotten. They are easier said than done. We get so consumed in securing our future and welfare that we waste most of our time running behind things that are not helping us achieve the only goal in life. 

What's that one aspect in your life that gives you immeasurable happiness? It could be as simple as creating a piece of art that touches people in a million different ways and makes them feel better about themselves or forget their afflictions or even heal their wounded soul. It could even be your ability to listen to other's problems and just be understanding about it. Listening to others is a powerful tool. Lending them a shoulder to lean on when the burden of mere existence weighs so heavily on them could save lives. It's probably a simple "I'm here for you" or "you can do this" could go a long way. Sometimes, it might just be the right sentence someone needed to hear before they took a drastic step so they start believing in themselves all over again.

Loving someone isn't difficult really. Love takes different forms. Some just sweep us off our feet and some hold us grounded. An act of love could very well look like giving food and medicine to the needy or a warm hug to a friend who's shattered deep within or a simple soup you prepared for your spouse who is unwell. 

So back to my initial question. What's my purpose? What am I good at? Answering this is never easy. We often rely on what people tell us. May be that was just a role I had to play to "deliver" at work or had to behave a certain way at home so I could avoid conflicts. May be it was part of my job responsibility. May be it was my need to hold the family together. These could very well have been perceived by others as you being "good" at. But are you really that deep within?

It is pretty daunting to connect to your inner self. We are so engrossed in our outer world that we often don't realise how we are distancing ourself from the real being within us. I'm scared to connect with my inner self simply because I've worn so many masks that I don't really know who I am anymore. I dont think I'm ready to see what reality my inner self holds for me. But, but, but...I know how important it is to acknowledge and awaken my spirit to find out my calling. 

I am not a person who would sit at a place and meditate. Honestly, I keep telling myself that I don't have that kind of time to spend time on meditation or sorts. Truth be told, it actually just takes a few minutes a day to connect to yourself, review your day, identify your mistakes and make a mental note about it so you don't repeat it again. Once this becomes easier, spending a little more time to understand what your subconscious really says should be the next step. 

I've tried to do this in the past. Initially, it was really scary but then with time, it gave me a new lease of life. It pumped my days with positivity and energy. The wagon of life got onto me again and I lost this habit I was trying to nurture. How difficult could it get to wake up 30 mins early and do this, really? I am committing to myself that I will start over again so I can find my answers. Inner peace is hard to find but not impossible. 

If I do arrive at my purpose, I'd definitely share it with you all and I'll try to blog as much about my progress if any. If you've read this far, thanks and hope I didn't steal 2-3 minutes of your life in reading this content. Time is darn expensive and nothing in this world can repay that debt. Adios amigo!